A Photo Editing Contest Gone Horribly, Hilariously Wrong

It started out innocently enough.
Well, kind of.

Teenage Venom and I were chatting online when I realized - my icon. It was horribly outdated. It featured me with a different haircolor, haircut, and furniture arrangement in the background. I didn't even own that dresser anymore. I decided to change it - to this. A picture of my eye, unedited.

Venom promptly requested I send her a copy so she could "play with it". After some very strange mental images of her having a tea party with a printed-out version of my eyeball, I came to the conclusion that she meant she wanted to add effects and stuff to make it look cool - like photoshopping, or as we called it, Picniking, after out photo-editing website of choice.

That was when I had a brilliant idea - A contest, between us, of who could edit it cooler. We had three minutes and text was not allowed.

Within a few minutes, we had gone through editing several photos and broken every rule. These were the highlights of the contest.

The Original-

Kayla's Version-

My Version-

The Original-

Kayla's Version-

My Version-

The Original-



Kayla's Version-

My Version-



CHIBIS!!!

Yes, that's right. Chibis. Those cute little manga-cartoon-things with big eyes. I found a website where you can make them (http://www.lunaii-dollmaker.com/) and I've been creating them all day. They're just so dang cute...
And then, of course, my Obsessive Maximum Ride Disorder took over.
And now, ladies and gentlefreaks, I present to you... CHIBI-FLOCK!!!

Max! (Battle scars and signature eye-roll included)

Fangles!

Iggabelle!

Nudgiekins!

Gazzy!

Angel! (Pre-FANG)

I even made one of myself:

AND my OC from Winging It, Snow!

She looks like a Mary-Sue, doesn't she? I'm so glad she's not... And I'm not just saying that to say that. There was a time, long long ago, in the earliest drafts of Winging It, when Snow was as Sue-y as they get. I even refer to that time as the Mary-Snow Era. It was forever ago, though, and she's better now.

This post was rather shorter than usual.

Signing Off,

Sweet but Insane

The Greatest Poem In The World: Part 2

Previously on... The Zombie In My Locker And How It Got There

To the driveway we descended
To make a decision
Should we face certain death
In the Land of No Livin'?

Or should we stay home
And watch Dr. Phil all day
His mustache is distracting
It lead thoughts astray

In the end, the decision
Was sort of made for me
A man driving a bus,
Aged four thousand and forty

It arrived with a squeal of breaks
And an ominous death-rattle
From inside, a small voice shrilled
"I'm gonna tattle!"

It's color was yellow
It's vibe was annoying
Inside me I felt
A sense of dread growing

The door swooshed open
With a hiss and a squeak
The wrinkly old driver
Hadn't moved in a week

On the inside I screamed
On the out, climbed aboard
It's the fastest way to school
I rationalized and deplored

Once inside the aging deathtrap
I wandered down the aisle
Passing screaming children
And a hobo with a pedosmile

One hour later
Chance of survival was bleak
When we pulled in the school
Our sanity mushy and weak

I hopped to the pavement
And sprinted to the door
But I ran into five people
And they fell to the floor

Standing in the hallway
Where we always stand
Were Venom and Jaybrams
And That Guy from That Band

"Guys!" I ran up and yelled
"We've got a situation!"
Venom gasped "Will it save us
From our torturous education?"

Jaybrams screamed, suddenly
'Cause she saw the zombie
So we ran down the hallway
Venom, Jaybrams, and Me

We chased it through the H-S
Screaming "CEASE AND DESIST!"
Ran past Eric and Ryan
And Joey and Chris

It ran up the stairs
And we cornered the focker
It made a mad dash for freedom
Straight to 210, my locker

And it's still in there
It's out of your hair
So fear not, and go STEALTH-KILL! Devin
But I've got a problem
And my problem is...
I'm late for English 7

Okay, I admit it. This is a terrible poem. It's rhyming is half-assed, at best. Rhythm? Nonexistent. But I do -- sometimes -- write serious poetry. Or some crap I make up that sounds serious. And, like, deep. That's why I've started a poetry blog (Accessible from my profile)! I haven't posted anything yet. But I'm going to. Like, right now.
Later much!

Signing off,
Sweet But Insane

The Greatest Poem In The World -- Part One

"The Zombie in my Locker and How it Got There"

Part One

By Me

There's a zombie with the munchies

And he's in my locker
I knew I shouldn't have watched Zombieland
Instead of seeing Little Fockers

There was a close-up of the undead
And then it jumped off the screen
Like Lady Gaga, messed up in the head
And acting really mean

It snarled and growled
And ran 'round my house
It ate half a sports car
And my imaginary spouse

And it was going for me
When I shot it times three
But two bullets missed
And hit the indestructible cat, who hissed

The zombie ran away
Hid under my porch for a while
It built and rode a subway
But it hopped the turnstile

Meanwhile, aboveground,
I was getting ready
I got Iggy, a rocket launcher
And a lobster named Freddie

We stormed in the subway
To take the next train going out
The vendor gave me a key chain
But he charged me five dollars, the lout

We crowded on the subway
It smelled like peanut butter
That, combined with claustrophobia
Turned me into a nutter

A nutter, by the way
Is British for lunatic
Like Ozzy, or Venom,
Or that Jersey Shore chick

"Hot damn!" I shouted
"I think I'm going crazy.
That guy in the corner
Doesn't even look shady!"

We escaped the subway
Iggy, Freddie, and Me
For some reason we were by the ocean
When a voice rawred with glee

"Steve!" squealed me
"Third person much?" muttered Iggy
Freddie added "OMG!"
"GRAAWRR!" warbled Steve

I climbed on a boat
And threw a rope to the shark
And I fired the rocket launcher
It lit up the dark

I commanded "Fetch!
There's a zombie to catch!"
Steve pirouetted across the sea
In hot pursuit of the hungry zombie

By the time that we docked
We were back where we started
My house, the hide-out,
Of the Nearly Departed

The zombie in question
Was crossing the river
Toward the school, where he'd find
Inevitably, his dinner

To the driveway we descended
To make a decision
Should we face certain death
In the Land of No Livin'?

Or should we stay home
And watch Dr. Phil all day
His mustache is distracting
It lead thoughts astray

REVIEW: ANGEL, A Maximum Ride Novel

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!! ELEVEN!!
There is really no better expression than pure, wordless, vocal franticness that can explain what I am thinking right now.
Here's what's going on:
1) I'm shaking.
2) I think I might hurl.
3) I'm beginning to resent emotion.
4) "Electrified" doesn't cover it. This is more like... A bursting nova of raw energy. IN MY BRAIN.
Did I just get struck by lightning?
Sure feels like it.
But no. This is much more urgent...
I finished reading ANGEL: The seventh installment in the epic Maximum Ride series.
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!
Now, we all know I'm pretty good with words, but I am really at a loss on what to say. Seriously.
...Well, other than "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--" But that could go on for days. So I'll just describe my reaction using emoticons! Just imagine them accompanied by a chipper little ding! like on Meebo. Here goes nothin':

=O

=O

=O

=O

=O

=O

=O

Screw it. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Ooh, here's some words for it:
HOLY. FREAKIN'. CRAP.
There. That about sums it up. Isn't my vocabulary wonderful?
I'll tell ya what's wonderful. That Holden Squibb guy, charging at that Mark guy, screaming his battle cry: "I AM STARFISHHH!!!"
So going in my quotes book.
Know what's NOT so wonderful? The... the... God, it kills me just to say it! The (Possible) END of FAXNESS! My antidrug! How can they do this to me?! I'm still clinging on to one last tattered shred of hope, but is it a lost cause? Whenever I think about it, I get all worked up.
And then I think of Holden...
...And I lulz.
Meanwhile, on a completely different note, you should've seen my psychobilly freakout (There's one for yer vocab) when Iggy got brainsucked. And when I thought he was dead. And when I thought Jeb died, for that matter. Not to mention Angel... But it turns out none of got dead at all! Jeb's just... evil, and Angel's just... held in captivity by the Doomsday Group. Being experimented on. Possibly turning evil. Again.
Speaking of which, where DID Dr. M and Jeb wander off to? Crazy brainsuckers. Sorta reminds me of their mysterious disappearane is Phoenix Fanatic's "Diary of a Lovesick Mutant". Except something tells me they won't be engaged when they show up again. Although it would be a huge improvement if the world had as many sex, bacon, and Harry Potter references as Phoenix Fanatic.
While we're on the topic of fanfiction (At least, I hope we're on the same page here. I really have no idea if you've even heard of fanfiction, reader.), did anyone else notice the eerie similiarities between the Comic-Con scene and St. Fang of Boredom's "MangaFlock"? If I didn't know better, I'd say Mister P. has been prowling the archives of Maximum Ride fanfiction. Although I swoon like a giddy schoolgirl at the thought of him even glancing at "Winging It", I really hope he didn't see the A/N where I damn him to Hell.
And now I have this crazy fantasy where he reads the measly 16 collective chappies I have posted and is so impressed that he immediately drops me an email and we collab on the horror novel of the decade which wins a crapload of awards and gets me landed on Planet Instant Stardom and I end up on Oprah and people make movies about my life.
Hey, a girl can dream, right?


Signing off,

Sweet But Insane


A Song That Reminds Me Of ANGEL: "How Far We've Come" by Matchbox 20.