A Photo Editing Contest Gone Horribly, Hilariously Wrong

It started out innocently enough.
Well, kind of.

Teenage Venom and I were chatting online when I realized - my icon. It was horribly outdated. It featured me with a different haircolor, haircut, and furniture arrangement in the background. I didn't even own that dresser anymore. I decided to change it - to this. A picture of my eye, unedited.

Venom promptly requested I send her a copy so she could "play with it". After some very strange mental images of her having a tea party with a printed-out version of my eyeball, I came to the conclusion that she meant she wanted to add effects and stuff to make it look cool - like photoshopping, or as we called it, Picniking, after out photo-editing website of choice.

That was when I had a brilliant idea - A contest, between us, of who could edit it cooler. We had three minutes and text was not allowed.

Within a few minutes, we had gone through editing several photos and broken every rule. These were the highlights of the contest.

The Original-

Kayla's Version-

My Version-

The Original-

Kayla's Version-

My Version-

The Original-



Kayla's Version-

My Version-



My Love!

I FUCKING MISSED YOU!
No, not you. Well, kinda you, though I've never met you before, but I was actually talking to my blog, which is illogical anyway, but if me missing you would make you follow and comment and shower me with bacon and rainbows, then yes I was talking to you. But I was also talking to my blog. And the internet, even though it hates me.
My dears, I was grounded. Though small-town groundation is just not the same as groundation in places that actually have places people would want to go to. Oh no. I was grounded FROM THE INTERNET.
Seriously, is that even legal? It seems like a crime against humanity. Or like, cruel and unusual punishment.
But, I do get where my mom was coming from. A sixty-four in French is frowned upon in this establishment for obvious reasons.
But anyway, after the conjugation of so, so many verbs, I'm back! And, well, not much has happened. A lot of reading, starting a few new Sci-fi serieses (Leviathan, Chaos Walking), finishing up some others (One book to go in the Percy Jackson category),  anticipating the release of the next, the FINAL Maximum Ride book. Which won't be until next August, actually, but I can still anticipate it now. Also, there was some more crappy nonsense poems and a major change in fangirlism (Expect some more posts about that soon).
Anyway, I leave you now with this inspiring quote I typed up when I was really really bored, shortly before The Grounding.

RANT: The Internet Hates Me. I Have Proof.

EXHIBIT A!

Everyone but me already knows how to make a Paffendorf dance meme. For those of you who don't know, a paffendorf is... hard to explain. Here, just look at this video of a Maximum Ride paffendorf dance (That I don't own or know how to make!)

Is this some sort of conspiracy? A conspiracy to keep me from ever learning how to Paffendorf? DOES EVERYONE ALREADY KNOW BUT ME?! 'Cause I can't find instructions. CAN'T FIND THEM ANYWHERE!

EXHIBIT B!

In our family, we have two computers -- the laptop (Which works great), and the desktop (Which is a prehistoric peice of poo). And now, the desktop is not ONLY a prehistoric poo, it's now a prehistoric poo that's been invaded by nekkid people. And no, REALLY, I don't want to see your naughty bits. All I wanna do is look up the name of that song that's been stuck in my head for a week and I know the words but I don't the title or who sings it and I REALLY NEED TO FUCKING KNOW SO GET YOUR YOU-KNOW-WHAT OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!1!

And this really has nothing to do with anything, but someone deleted Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World from our DVR recordings and that pisses me off more than it should and STOP EATING MY BROWNIES YOU ANNOYING BASSIST!

Guilt Trippin'

Hi there Sunshine!
Teenage Venom, the crazy friend (Everybody's got one), has been bugging me to post or, and I quote, "I'LL CRY TEARS OF SADNESS AND COLORLESS RAINBOWS!".
Even when I responded to her IM's with an endless stream of super-sad-face emoticons, all she said was "NO BE SAD!", then sent me the following.

And after I told I was busy plotting world domination  checking my email, she sent me THIS.
So here you go, Venom. A post. Happy now?

Happy Early Birthday, JRose!

JRose, author of "I'd Like Cheese on my Entire Family!" (http://www.cheeseblarg.blogspot.com/), is an obsession of mine lately. And a few minutes ago, I read that it was her birthday...
...In a month.
But still, I couldn't wait a month to make her a present. Crappy though it may be, here's your present, JRose! I would send it to you in some way that didn't make it seem like I was just trying to lure you to my URL so that you'd read my humble posts, even though you'd have no idea what I'm talking about because, to the best of my knowledge, you've never read Maximum Ride (although you should), unless you're one of those people who read it and hated it, then I'd be really crushed, but... *Cough* Anyway, this is the only way I could think of to send it to you, plus I kinda do want you to read my humble posts.
Without further ado, here it is! Your early birthday present.

Time Freeze Outside the Decaying Speck

The Speck. My hometown. Blink and you'll miss it. It consists of a post office, a library, a gas station, a junk store, three churches, and a bunch of run-down smallish Victorian-style houses. Back in the olden days, when the railroad still came through, it was a busy place. Lots of artists, I've heard. People still sometimes find drawings and things in their walls once in a while. The river, which is haunted by an Indian chief according to legend, runs through, twisting Southward. The Speck is squished down in a valley, tree-covered hills swooping up on either side. It's beautiful in the Fall. In Summer...
Well, let's just say, it's quiet.
But where I live, a few miles outside the Speck, it's like time is frozen. Right now, nothing is going on. NOTHING! I'd give anything for something to happen, anything just to lighten the load of this never-ending BOREDOM! PLEASE GOD, MAKE IT STOP!
And yeah, I know I'll be missing the stagnant relaxation of August once September rolls around and the drama starts in again, but until then, I'm awaiting the start of school with open arms, if only for the fact that I'll get to see my friends again. They all live in the Speck, so I can't just walk down the street and pop in whenever I want. The only times we see each other is at school and on AIM. I've seen Venom once or twice, but Jaybrams doesn't even have an AIM. We haven't talked in months.
And yes, we have telephones. I just have an unnatural mistrust of them. It's... hard to explain...
So, to all of you awaiting the end of Summer with dread and nostalgia, I say, Pfft! It can't come soon enough!