Friday, September 9, 2011

RANT: The Internet Hates Me. I Have Proof.


Everyone but me already knows how to make a Paffendorf dance meme. For those of you who don't know, a paffendorf is... hard to explain. Here, just look at this video of a Maximum Ride paffendorf dance (That I don't own or know how to make!)
Is this some sort of conspiracy? A conspiracy to keep me from ever learning how to Paffendorf? DOES EVERYONE ALREADY KNOW BUT ME?! 'Cause I can't find instructions. CAN'T FIND THEM ANYWHERE!


In our family, we have two computers -- the laptop (Which works great), and the desktop (Which is a prehistoric peice of poo). And now, the desktop is not ONLY a prehistoric poo, it's now a prehistoric poo that's been invaded by nekkid people. And no, REALLY, I don't want to see your naughty bits. All I wanna do is look up the name of that song that's been stuck in my head for a week and I know the words but I don't the title or who sings it and I REALLY NEED TO FUCKING KNOW SO GET YOUR YOU-KNOW-WHAT OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!1!

And this really has nothing to do with anything, but someone deleted Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World from our DVR recordings and that pisses me off more than it should and STOP EATING MY BROWNIES YOU ANNOYING BASSIST!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Guilt Trippin'

Hi there Sunshine!
Teenage Venom, the crazy friend (Everybody's got one), has been bugging me to post or, and I quote, "I'LL CRY TEARS OF SADNESS AND COLORLESS RAINBOWS!".
Even when I responded to her IM's with an endless stream of super-sad-face emoticons, all she said was "NO BE SAD!", then sent me the following.
And after I told I was busy plotting world domination  checking my email, she sent me THIS.
So here you go, Venom. A post. Happy now?

Happy Early Birthday, JRose!

JRose, author of "I'd Like Cheese on my Entire Family!" (, is an obsession of mine lately. And a few minutes ago, I read that it was her birthday...
...In a month.
But still, I couldn't wait a month to make her a present. Crappy though it may be, here's your present, JRose! I would send it to you in some way that didn't make it seem like I was just trying to lure you to my URL so that you'd read my humble posts, even though you'd have no idea what I'm talking about because, to the best of my knowledge, you've never read Maximum Ride (although you should), unless you're one of those people who read it and hated it, then I'd be really crushed, but... *Cough* Anyway, this is the only way I could think of to send it to you, plus I kinda do want you to read my humble posts.
Without further ado, here it is! Your early birthday present.